Well, products aside there has one particular film that has had a marketing campaign that has left me in a cold sweat at night. It is for the festering abomination of a film Alvin and the ‘Munks, the mutherloving SQUEAKWAL. WTF IS F’dy F-F SQUEKWAL. This is by far the lowest Hollywood has ever sunk. My god, this stupid ass movie deserves to be in the bottom of the used DVD’s at frys right next to the 100 Air Bud Squeakwals. I will personally steal every copy that anyone I ever know who buys this trouser-stain and bury it somewhere in the southwest next to the rotting copies of ET for Atari. The man who pitched the idea for the name of this movie needs to be castrated then forced to watch E! and Keeping up the the Kardashians for all of eternity. So yeah, that’s it for today…whew!

1. The standard issue kid

“The militia pitchfork”

Usually equipped with one of these. Pretty standard rate of fire…parents were probably of the middle class ilk. The little runt probably had some of the latest video game systems at home, but never all of them.

2. The spoiled ass kid

“The real deal 7-layer burrito”

The jerk probably touted one of these bad boys, then pistol whipped you with its business end after you were on the ground crying.

3. The poor kid who always wanted to play, who you hated letting…who borrowed his “brothers” gun

“Fools gold”

I think the description pretty much says it all, albeit this turd probably was smell and sprayed his fecal laden H2O from his Saturday night special such as this.

4. And finally, the weird kid, that always brought the wrong type of gun

“The knife to a gun fight”

this scrimpy abhorrent usually was found waving around some crazy wrist-mounted manta ray looking pea shooter that its maw and paw gave it. Cackling as he “accidentally” shoots you in the eye with a tiny disc(wtf?) and sends you home. Standard regalia were similar to this.

Once you had a basic idea of who these kids were, and where they lived on your street, it was proper etiquette to weed out the select few of whom associate with at the bus stop. I would go on to describe how important the bus stop environment was as well, but that is another topic in itself. Keep in mind that although you may find some relevance to you childhood, particularly if it took place in the early 90′s, don’t rely on this extreme stereotypes. I would like to point out that also, I did go to a Wild and Crazy Kids live in Stockton, CA…and it was nothing like the show with Donny Jeffcoat.

That is all.

“Truly one of pinnacles in my life, I now have a place of Thralldom in the sky kingdom of Zeus”

Farmville is a Facebook application that allows its users to run their very own virtual farm! You can buy seeds, plant them in the ground and create fantastical crop patters and sexually explicit images! Once your crops grow, you can sell them in Farmville’s flourishing economy for coins (the virtual currency of the game), which in turn, can be used to buy even more seeds, animals, decorations and buildings, huzzah! As you soil your crops, harvest, and purchase new commodities; you level up your farmer status which allows you produce fantastic and special items! Come play to today, and watch your life wither away!

This is the closest I can get to an advertisement for the Farmville staff. This game is strangely addicting, yet incredibly pointless and unfulfilling. As you can see I took the time to create my farm in the shape of a famous phrase, in order to “wow” the articulate Farmville elite. The inspiration from my farm comes from the early 90′s iteration of the novel “Of Mice and Men.” I attempted to capture the essence of the film by creating the wagon (under the “M”) that Lenny and George threw bales of hay into. Very simply and succinctly, I draw users in with a simple and elegant design, a quaint Tuscany estate with the awe-inspiring notion that “I raise both the chicken – and the goat”.

Hopefully you have seen the beauty that is Farmville and will become my neighbor, so i can use you for farm expansion.

So I’ve uploaded a few pictures of my parrot Kunu on the blog. He is a little South American Green-cheek conure, and my girlfriend Jacqueline and I call him Kunu”chu” because he loves to chew on everything he can get a hold of. We also call him the Stinky Eagle, well…because he stinks, and kind of looks like an eagle from certain perspectives.

Not Kunu, but another bird bustin’ a nut…

A few days ago we brought home little colored zip ties to fasten one of the perches to this pvc pipe contraption that I made a him a while back. The purpose was to make sure the little bugger couldn’t chew through the zip ties, which would prevent him from plummeting down onto the ground. We soon found that even these zip ties wouldn’t stop his little beak. He broke the first tie within an hour of us using them.

I’m now starting to believe that his beak is capable of much more than we think. After all, they are known to smash walnuts into tiny shards of dust. I think I might start pushing his limits, progressively finding harder stuff (within reason) for him to chew on…to see if he can eviscerate it. Then we will truly know if we have a super bird on our hands.

Today I decided to create a new blog to account for some of the random occurrences that pop into my head throughout the day. Most of these musings tend to happen unexpectedly, sometimes bouncing to and from a central idea.

The events that happen in my life are by no means exciting, nor are they meaningful life altering experiences that can influence millions (or even multiple) people. As much as I’d like to not call this a diary…I think it will be closer to that than anything else.

A mental diary of the often times stupid and unnecessary thought process of a sickly and disturbed mind. Hopefully something will come out of this…something that I can take from it that will make me say, “Hey, I’m glad I published that moronic thought on the web for all eyes to see.”